Cake Lear
by Trish Tavor
Summary: In this parody of "King Lear" Harry must watch the children for the weekend while Ginny is away. I'm sure you can all guess where it goes from there...


A/N: Written for the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition and the Hogwarts House Challenged Forum (Camp Hogwarts).

Team: Wasps and Gryffindor

Position: Keeper (Reserve) and Cabin Longbottom

Prompt: King Lear and Pottery

Took a bit of a more cheerful look at the play – hope that's alright. Thanks to lokilette for some wonderful ideas :)

* * *

"Dad!" Albus complained loudly, running into the kitchen where Harry sat reading the morning paper. "James took my broom! He says I'm too young to have one, so he's taking care of it for me."

"That's not true!" James responded, coming in behind Albus. "He hit me with it, so I grabbed it from him."

"Only because you hit him first!" Lily piped up, walking in behind her brothers, arms crossed. "Dad, when can I get a broom?"

Harry sighed, setting down the paper. It was obvious that he wasn't going to get any reading done at the moment. Ginny was away for the weekend with Hermione – the two were going who-knows-where for some kind of a girl's getaway – leaving him with the kids. Alone. Which wasn't nearly as easy as he thought.

"You can get a broom when you're eleven, Lily," he told his youngest daughter for the millionth time.

"But that's not fair!" Lily pouted, "James and Albus both have brooms and they both get to go to Hogwarts. Why can't I at least have a broom?"

"Next year, sweetheart," Harry responded.

Stomping her feet in aggravation, Lily walked around her brothers – who were still fighting amongst themselves – and stood in front of her father.

"I want a broom now! I hate having to share everything." She told him. Harry eyed his youngest carefully. She wasn't generally this rebellious, but then again she was still quite young and couldn't be expected to act mature all the time.

"I gave you my answer," Harry said firmly. "That's that. You can take a turn on their brooms, like always."

Lily glared at her father, and then stepped to the side as James came up to take her place.

"Dad, tell Albus that he can't have his broom ba– "

"Tell James' to leave my stuff alone – "

"See, they're always fighting, why can't I have my – "

"QUIET!" Harry called, standing up quickly. _I wish Ginny were here. She'd know how to handle this_. He considered his children for a moment, all of whom had gone utterly silent at his outburst. He needed to think of something that would keep them occupied for a while, so he could get some peace. "Look, who wants some of your mother's wonderful cake," Harry questioned finally, gesturing to the beautifully decorated dessert that sat on the counter.

"I do!" Albus responded eagerly, forgetting instantly about the earlier argument. He began to walk over to the cake.

"No, no, no," Harry said, stopping his son in his tracks.

"What?" Albus asked.

"That's my cake. Your mum left it for me."

"But you said – "

"I know what I said," Harry cut him off with a smirk. "I'll make you all a deal. You have one hour to make me something that shows how much you love me. Whoever comes back with the best thing, gets the biggest piece of cake. And so on – "

"I want the _whole_ cake," Lily stated, crossing her arms again. "Why can't the winner just have the whole thing."

Harry sighed, studying his youngest. She had a stubborn streak, just like he had at that age. "My cake, my rules," Harry responded. "Deal?" He asked the three of them.

"Deal!" Albus responded quickly.

"Alright," James stated, trying to sound grown-up and unexcited. However, it was obvious that he was already trying to think of the best thing that he could make.

"This is stupid," Lily responded angrily. Harry raised his eyebrows at her, and she stuck out her tongue at him, before disappearing into the other room after her brothers.

Harry grinned. There. It looked like he didn't need Ginny after all.

* * *

"Five more minutes!" Harry called out to them. The house had been entirely silent for the last fifty-five minutes – Harry had even had time to read through the rest of his paper in peace. Though, he had to admit that he was actually quite intrigued to see what objects of their affection his three children would come up with.

"I'm done already!" Albus called, poking his head into the kitchen doorway.

"I just finished," James said, coming up behind his brother.

"Where's Lily?" Harry questioned, eyeing the two boys, who both had excited looks on their faces.

"I think she went outside," Albus answered, "I don't know if she wanted to participate."

Harry considered his sons, and then gestured for them to come into the kitchen, which they did. However, both held their objects carefully behind their backs, not giving any hint as to what they could be.

"We'll give Lily another – " Harry looked at the clock " – three minutes, and then we'll start without her."

The boys nodded, and pulled up chairs around the table, both making huge efforts to conceal their creations.

A moment later, Lily wandered into the kitchen, also holding something behind her back. Harry eyed her. She seemed happier than an hour ago, but there was also a sly smile on her face, which wasn't necessarily a good sign. She took a seat beside Albus, just in front of Harry.

"Alright. James, why don't you go first?" Harry asked his oldest.

James grinned. "Sure. I love you so much that I made this – " he pulled the gift out from behind his back " – model of two Seekers on broomsticks. And look!" He tapped the Gryffindor Seeker, who was meant to be Harry, on the head. This caused a chain reaction – obviously James had charmed it – as Harry first smashed the Slytherin Seeker over the head with his broom and then caught the Snitch while somehow staying in the air.

"Oh, my," Harry said, with a smile, "That's impressive. Though you're not supposed to be using magic outside of school." He winked at James and set the gift down. "What about you Albus?"

With a slightly stunned look at James' gift, Albus pulled out his own. It was a model of a broomstick, made out of whatever he could find outside and around the house. No magic had been involved. "I made this," he said simply. The gift was pretty self-explanatory.

Harry smiled. "It's beautiful, Albus," he said sincerely. He set the gift down beside James'. "Now, what about you Lily?"

Lily's smile widened as it came to her turn. She carefully brought out her gift, which was covered with a towel. "This!" She stated, and in an instant she pulled off the covering and Harry was wiping mud from his face. "It's a mud cake. So you get a whole cake to yourself," Lily finished. She was laughing like crazy now, and James and Albus joined in, after the initial shock. The three were so caught up in the moment that they didn't notice Harry get up to retrieve something.

"Ahh!" Lily called, as she too was smeared in cake, though of a different kind. Ginny's beautiful cake was all over her face and clothes.

"There Lily," Harry said with a smirk, "Now you get a whole cake too."


End file.
